My letter to all the parents who have loved and lost….

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To all the parents who have loved and lost,

This is my heartfelt letter to you. I am so sorry you have lost your beloved baby and I know the pain you must be in. Our story is one of ectopic pregnancy.  Our baby died on 4th Feb 2019. We felt so excited to be pregnant, so elated. Then at around seven weeks in, the pain began. I was convinced I had a UTI, as were the doctors, but sadly that was not the case. Our dear baby was in my tube. Her name was Esther Joy. What followed was surgery and more tears than you can imagine. I cried and cried and am glad I did. Sometimes I think we have to, regardless of where we are, who is there or not there, what we think people might think or feel, none of that matters. What does matter is you and you feeling free to express and release that pain.

I know how empty you must feel and how much pain your in. My arms physically ached. I never knew that was possible but it is. Please be kind to yourself, there is no correct way to grieve, we are all so unique and I believe that our own expression is perfect because its right for us.

I sometimes tried to force myself to get out and back to normal and regretted it. I felt so alone, like running away, full of panic and pain. I learnt to go at my own pace and take as much time as I needed. What was right for someone else wasn’t for me. I wanted to hide and I did for as long as was necessary then slowly emerged (and am still emerging).

Friends and family are so important at this time aren’t they, I am so grateful for mine, they were incredible, supporting us, looking after us, loving us, every card and flower we cherished. My husband was spectacular as always, looking after me post surgery and taking care of everything, I honestly don’t know how he coped as his sadness was as deep as mine.

We can also make new friends. Zoe from the Mariposa trust kindly listened to me. I frantically tapped her name on Instagram, I had found her through her TBN programme Soul Tears. The doctor had just nipped out to get what he needed to prep me for surgery. I frantically tapped her a message so personal and full of fear. Zoe kindly replied and was there for me the next few days. Someone I didn’t know, but who knew baby loss and made me feel less alone, like I could make it through the other side.

Whether we know each other or not. We are together in this, and this is my way of sending you a virtual hug and saying I am so very sorry you are going through this. I pray that you have all you need at this time.

Please talk to someone, don’t suffer on your own. I believe our children are in heaven and that we are still parents to them, and that our children have a legacy of their own that we get to work out.

Sending you so much love

Janine x

Places I have found so helpful, full of love, advice and support, each one has blessed me in a different way:

https://ectopic.org.uk/

https://www.mariposatrust.org/

https://www.sayinggoodbye.org/

http://www.featheringtheemptynest.co.uk/

https://www.ptsduk.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

https://www.simbacharity.org.uk/

https://www.soultears.org/

 

 

Easter baskets upcycled

Hi hope your having a lovely day, week, month, year.

I spotted some easter baskets in the sale bin at our local supermarket, I needed some baskets and these were 50p rather than like £8, so i though I would have a go at upcycling them up! It just goes to show that not everything has to cost a fortune and can always be made to suit your style.

before pic:

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After pic:

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I made two of these and they are now nestled on top of my unit, filled with candles and treats.

I used Annie Sloan chalk paint in the colour pure and some pretty ribbon and voila. My little girl loved it too and so she has her own mini one with clips in. You can get so creative and do whatever colour you like.

Hope it inspires you to create something wonderful for your home

Happy crafting love J x

Easter fun!

Hi everyone! Hope you are looking forward to easter, here are some of my top DIY ideas to celebrate the easter time.

Make some rice crispie cakes! The children will LOVE this! After all making gorgeous memories is what easter is all about.

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Create some gorgeous flower vases on your table, these will cheer everyone up! Splashes of colour all over your home, with jars, sparkly eggs and pretty napkins.

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Create an easter hunt! This is a lovely one available for free at  https://happyhomefairy.com/christ-centered-easter-morning-scavenger-hunt-preschoolers-free-printable/

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Make easter bonnets, this is so fun! I find a glue gun keeps the bunnies stuck where they should be instead of falling off. IMG_7415

Create some easter pom pom characters, so fun and something your little ones can keep forever.

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Paint some eggs! This is so fun for the little ones and the grown ups too! 🙂

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Make a display using things in your local park or garden. The hunting for things is as much fun as the making too.

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Make a thankful tree – This year me friend said she was making one and it inspired me, we had great fun cutting out and mixing paints and thinking of things to be grateful for, give it a try. It will also give you quality time with your children over the easter time.

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Happy easter everyone! God bless x

DIY lavender soap

Hi all, this year I got a DIY kit for Christmas to make lavender soap. Perfect present for me! Couldn’t wait to make it!

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It was a set from Marks and Spencers. It contains all that you need to make the soap, fragrance, dye, bamboo stirrers, soap melt, soap mould and instructions. It is super easy to do and so a perfect gift for anyone.

I used a pan to melt the soap and put the pan in a larger one and it worked fine. After making this you get so many creative ideas to make all sorts of fragrances and types. Definitely gives you the soap making bug!

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Thanks M&S, a fun little pretty Christmas project. Hope if you got this gift for Christmas you enjoyed making it too.

Happy crafting x

Festive Wrapping

I love wrapping presents its so fun! This year I loved making these brown paper gifts.

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This stamp on the manilla tags was from Not on the high street, great investment.

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I loved these stickers that we got made, perfect vintage vibe.

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I love how creative you can get when making gifts and make them look perfect under the tree. One of my great joys. You can get so creative and use up things in your Christmas craft and decorating boxes. Hope you had fun wrapping this year. Happy new year everyone.

Happy crafting!

 

Christmas stove top Potpourri

Hi all hope you are having a super duper christmas! One of my fave things things to do at christmas is festive stove top pot pourri. It smells amazing as it simmers away in the kitchen. The smells and fragrances filling your home is gorgeous! Its super easy to do. Heres what I put in mine.

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Ingredients

  • Fresh cranberries
  • Cuttings from your christmas tree
  • Star anise
  • 3 cinnamon sticks
  • Whole cloves
  • Fresh oranges
  • A tiny bit of orange and cinnamon oil
  • Grated nutmeg
  • Water

Just put it on a low heat, let it simmer away and enjoy the gorgeous fragrances!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

 

Christmas – Embracing the Imperfection!

I am so christmassy, literally I wait and wait for this time of year. My husband calls me Mrs Christmas and its true. I love my title 🙂

Do you ever feel though that the pressure of having the perfect Christmas hangs over you all December?

If so you are so not alone….

We see it on the adverts, the perfect meal, perfect table setting, gorgeous outfit, perfect children, nails manicured, perfectly tidy house and we love all that. What they fail to include though is the bugs the children and adults get, the financial stress that can be there, the house full of wrapping paper from all the wrapping and the hunt for the sellotape (again!), the late nights, washing baskets that are full, house a bit of a tip, the tiredness that might be there and the tears we cry over the sadness at those family members lost. I’ve learnt though these are all beautiful parts of it, its a jumbled mix.

In the same way, we can see the perfect nativity scene on the front of the Christmas cards. They are all sat in a circle looking fabulous! However as us ladies know childbirth is rarely straightforward and you don’t really want a photo of yourself afterwards! It is painful, feeding can be painful, they had no baby wipes, nappies, a washer or a dryer, no Tommie Tippee milk machines, bottles or dummies. Yikes! Although the nativity picture looks perfect it probably wasn’t. The perfection is that he came to an imperfect world to save us.

Don’t let the little things you see as an interruption this month rob you of the joy of this beautiful season.  We can sometimes feel like we have failed if we haven’t delivered the perfect year, perfect presents, perfect schedule but its just not true! The perfection of Christmas is the story itself and the hope and joy it brings.

I hope you enjoy every minute of your festive season this year with all that it holds.

Its the moments you have right now, the love that is around you and the people to cherish. When we let go of the perfect Christmas which doesn’t really exist and enjoy just where we are and what we have, and do what we love to do for Christmas, that is beautiful! Don’t let pesky perfectionism rob any more precious moments.

Heres some of my lovely moments so far this year….

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I love when the baubles are all scattered on the table waiting to be put on the tree 🙂

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This was our little treat this year, its from Daisy nook garden centre, we added the lights.

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This decoration always reminds me of our family in heaven, who are always in our thoughts at this time of year.

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So cute!

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My lovely angel I got this year.

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My handmade orange decorations, yum!

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The tree!

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The rustic look, so need more of this look next year.

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Glorious berries!

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Santa!

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Our front door.

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JOY! YES!

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Our cathedral tree.

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Oh yes! Hot choc and marshmallows.

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Pretty trees with huge decorations!

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Merry Christmas everyone, have a wonderful time! x x x